Just the other week, I messed up bad. It is one of those things that I would go back in time to fix if I could. Of course, time travel is not a thing (yet), so that is not really an option. The next best thing I can do though is help you not make the same mistake, even though it is painful every time I retell this story but here we go.
Buckle up and find out how to not get ripped off when buying a Whizzinator, better known as "the fake penis". Truth be told, it's not even the best solution for you.
My story begins with a big night out, followed by the news on Monday morning that urine tests were scheduled for later in the week at work. You can imagine that I was beginning to freak out.
I did my research through Google typing in and decided on the Whizzinator as a solution to all of my problems. I ordered straight away, but little did I know that the site I used was not the official website. It had a good sale price, that was one of the main reasons I bought it. I read on forums that the Whizzinator was the most popular device on the market, but I was more worried about it passing my urine drug test so I skipped the rest of my research and just went for it.
I waited anxiously during Tuesday and then Wednesday, until finally, my Whizzinator arrived in the mail. The minute I took it out of the packaging though, I knew something was wrong. In preparation for receiving the kit I had been watching the video tutorials, and I could see that the product I had in my hand was not the same as the one in the official video.
I called the Whizzinator customer service line, and my worst fears were confirmed. They were very quickly able to tell me that what I had was a fake!
Even though the Whizzinator customer service guy went above and beyond by giving me tips on how to get the best out of the inferior kit (even though it was a knockoff of their product). I knew I was in trouble and even though I ordered the real deal on the spot, I knew deep down it would not arrive in time.
On the morning of the test, I did the best I could with the fake kit, but I could tell that the warming system just was not effective, and the tubing was not at all well designed for natural flow.
I didn’t just fail the test though – I was outright caught trying to cheat it. Because the product did not work correctly, my strange behavior was picked up by the tester, and I was busted. The real kicker was that I ended up covered in the fake urine in the process.
I have never been so embarrassed and upset with myself in my whole life. Needless to say, my boss was not impressed, and I had to go find myself a new job and explain to my fiancé the reason why.
You may think I am the last person that should be giving advice given how badly I messed up, but I like to think that my experience has taught me a lot about these devices.
The worst part of this story is I did not just mess up once, but twice. I bought the real Whizzinator and failed another test with that. The synthetic urine was just too cold for the lab test and it raised a red flag.
After that failure, I did my research, joining a number of Facebook groups and they all recommended The Monkey Dong to me. It was reliable, cheaper, and has a way better brand of synthetic urine. I passed my first time using the product. And luckily for you, we've reviewed it right here. Moving on...
Due to the type of job I have, I knew I had many more tests ahead of me. I needed to find one product that was reliable and affordable so discovering The Monkey Dong was like an answered prayer.
I have no hesitations saying that The Monkey Dong is the best on the market and probably deserves more hype than it gets. Let me talk you through why I have such a strong opinion about this.
First of all, I would like to talk about the build quality of the kit. It's an affordable product which attracts a lot of first-time buyers. When you open the package, you can see and feel the quality right away.
I have closely inspected every part of the Monkey Dong, and it really is made from top quality, medical grade components. And I have to say, I have never felt more secured in my life than I do now.
So, how much does this contraption actually cost? For starters, you can get different colors of the product to match your skin tone and they are all priced at $139.95. Pretty steep, right?
So, there you have it, if you are looking to get a Whizzinator to get you through your next supervised drug test then you might be looking at the wrong thing because this can really put a dent on your savings account. A better alternative would be the Monkey Dong or Monkey Whizz products because after putting it through a bunch of tests, it actually fairs way better and costs a lot less than the real Whizzinator.
Just like any other product out there, there is a big advantage buying from the official sellers. When buying something as important as a Whizzinator Kit or The Monkey Dong, there is no point trying to be tricky and finding some other cheap retailer website or local stores near you that has knocked off a dollar or two to tempt you in.
Also, we just want to note that you won't be able to buy these products from third-party sellers like Amazon, Ebay, Craigslist, and other online stores.
Buying directly from official sellers/retailers will ensure you get the right product delivered and in your hand right when you need it. Overall, even though I had one of the worst experiences of my life, I can say I learnt a valuable lesson.
OK, to summarize all of this information, we would definitely lean heavily towards The Monkey Dong over the Whizzinator.
Even when I bought the official Whizzinator, it failed and it cost me.
I have been using the Monkey Dong for the last two years, and I would not switch to a different product even if I was paid.
You can purchase the real Monkey Dong by clicking the button below where it will take you to an approved reseller.