Get this... my buddy and I work construction jobs together and they randomly drug tested us. My way around this was always to keep some fake piss around for the days when I was the lucky one chosen to take a piss test.
He told me that during his last test, someone actually went into the bathroom with him and watched him give his sample! I can’t believe they’re doing this, but word must’ve gotten out that some of us use fake piss for these tests. Lucky for him, he’s been on a diet and hasn’t drank or smoked in a while, so he passed.
The same is not true for me. As soon as I heard about the new process, I knew my old method of taping a bag to my pants was no longer going to work.
I did not want to get caught pouring piss out of a tube into the cup. So, I started to look for a solution and came across The Whizzinator. It’s a synthetic penis designed for supervised tests.
Pretty hilarious, right?
I too, found Whizzinators pretty freaking amusing - but in all seriousness, this is the product which is supposedly going to let me live my life and keep my job. HOW WRONG WAS I.
The reason why these products were created was if the fake pee is coming out of something that looks like the real deal, they don’t question it! I was stoked to find it at the time - and was excited to use it for the first time. Yet my excitement turned into a disaster. I will discuss this later.
Here’s what you need to know about the kit.
The Whizzinator kit includes an elastic belt for wearing, one of their “golden shower” fake urine samples, four heat pads (you supposedly only need one every time you use it), a syringe, and a set of complex instructions.
This product is an expensive system that can be used for discretely giving a fake urine sample during a drug test, even if someone is watching you.
How do you do that?
Well, the artificial pee is squeezed out of a fake looking dick for ultimate believability. It is meant to trick the examiner into believing that you're actually doing a real pee but in my opinion...
The Whizzinator does not look genuine and it's too big. Way too big! This can be a serious issue if you have an examiner constantly looking at you while you're doing your test.
That said, it only takes a little preparation. You create the synthetic urine sample before you take your test, then pour it into the refillable vinyl pouch attached to the artificial dick. Strap the whole contraption onto yourself with the elastic bands, and wear your clothes normally.
An hour before you’re due to take the drug test, activate a heating pad and attach it to the vinyl pouch. It takes about an hour for the fake urine to reach appropriate temperatures so make sure you have the time to warm it up beforehand. Try and not have the Whizzinator on for long as there have been reported cases of the product leaking.
Turning in cold pee will be a dead giveaway that your urine sample is fake.
I’ve included step-by-step instructions below on all of this so just keep reading to find out how to use the product.
Let’s look at some of the other ways you can use the original Whizzinator.
Believe it or not, it was originally designed as a novelty adult sex toy. Some people have pee fetishes, and this product allows them to fulfill their not-so-usual sexual desires with a clean and sanitary product. Sounds pretty kinky, but it’s not really my thing.
On another note, it could also be used for a hilarious prank on your friends and family. Just watch out for the retaliation from them. You might get your butt whooped real good so be prepared.
The whole idea of sneaking fake piss in for a drug test is pretty stressful. You need to practice this over and over. For me, I was nervous because I knew Whizzinators looked fake, so it instantly made me nervous.
Using this is tricky due to its size but here are some basic guidelines on how to use the Whizzinator properly:
Ideally, you won’t be super nervous because you’ll have tested this out several times with water beforehand.
Some people have attempted to try and make their own homemade Whizzinator, but the whole process can be long and tricky, and we would strongly advise against it.
But even after I’d done all of this, I still had questions.
Lucky for you, I’ve made things easy and created and included some of the answers to those questions here:
Yes! The Whizzinator comes in five different colors including very white, white, tan, brown, and black. The size of the prosthetic is universally 4.5 inches. Just choose the color that matches you most naturally for a convincing look. Side Note: The Monkey Dong has more colors than the Whizzinator so if you're looking for more choices, then have a look at them by clicking here or the link below.
It lasts for a year from your date of purchase in powder form. If you buy it in premixed bags of liquid, it can last for two years. That’s a pretty decent amount of shelf life, especially if you’re drug tested regularly.
The waistband can fit someone with up to a 52” waist. You can request a free extension if you need one, so there is no need to worry about it not fitting you.
All you got to do is order it.
The Whizzinator holds between three and four fluid oz. of liquid. They don’t recommend trying to put in any more than 4 oz. max because it can affect the quality of the bag.
You don’t want leaks in your pants when you're about to head for the urinalysis.
You can use the Whizzinator cleaning solution, or you can just rinse it out with clean water. DO NOT use soap or other harsh cleaning agents because this can contaminate the pouch, which can affect the quality of your fake pee.
Yes, there is a Whizzinator specifically designed for females. This product is called the Whizz Kit (for females), it's a pouch with a strap on it that can hold the pee for you. Also, it is somewhat easy to hide underneath your clothes so you don't have to worry too much about that. But you do have to worry about leakage.
And, like the male Whizzinator, the Whizz Kit has got its own issues with regards to the quality of urine. Many people have reported failed tests on forums. We would definitely recommend the Monkey Whizz instead, you can read our full review here.
This is a serious question. You’re investing hard-earned money into this, and taking a huge risk trying to fake self-administered drug tests.
I’ve tested this kit following the instructions, and I can tell you that unfortunately, it FAILED. The examiner noticed how much I was struggling and instantly stopped me. He asked for one his colleagues to come in and be a witness. At this stage, I knew I was busted. He asked me to unbutton my jeans, and when I refused, they instantly stopped the test. I left in such a rush, I was so embarrassed.
The makers of the Whizzinator have made the product far too big. It's not realistic enough.
I found a much smaller, reliable and cheaper alternative product called The Monkey Dong. It looked and felt more realistic, and I have been using that ever since. It's a way better option than the real Whizzinator and there is no way I am ever going back. I'm gonna be using Monkey Dong all the way.
For this reason alone, we recommend the Monkey Dong over the Whizzinator.
With regards to the quality of the synthetic urine, I really can't comment on it as I never got the chance to submit a sample. It is reported that it contains all of the components that a typical drug test screens for, including uric acid and urea. Both of these are found in actual human urine, so it’s important that both are present in whatever synthetic piss you decide to buy.
Other products on the market claim that uric acid and urea are the same thing. Don’t be fooled. They are different and can be individually tested. Advanced drug test methods even screen for the presence of urea to ensure a urine sample is real.
There are going to be negative and positive Whizzinator reviews out there plus also a lot of reviews on other products, which can make choosing one seem overwhelming.
I’ve personally used several that have worked in the past, Whizzinator was not one of them. It might be one of the most popular on the market, but I certainly will not be using it again.
Nothing compares to The Monkey Dong, especially for supervised drug tests. It looks real, and it's very easy to use.
Seriously, the whole game changes when someone is watching you give your sample. There’s less time to check the temperature of your sample and it’s harder to get it into the cup. But the Monkey Dong makes it a fast and easy process that looks realistic so you won’t get questioned. It’s my top choice without a doubt.
As drug tests become more advanced, the more important it is to research the product you are getting. A brand you used three years ago might not have stayed on top of changing trends, which will embarrass you if you don’t research it now.
Some people buy batches of synthetic urine at wholesale or liquidation sales, so you also need to pay attention to the expiration date of the product you use. Fake piss do not last forever and can be ineffective if it’s expired. Drug testing is a big business so please don't be fooled.
We hope that this Whizzinator review helps you make the right choice. Read our review on the Monkey Dong right here. It's cheaper, looks more realistic, and overall, more reliable. Don’t get yourself ripped off by buying the Whizzinator or expired piss that won’t work. After all, you’ve got one shot to get this, right?