This review was last updated on August, 2018.
Drug testing is one of the great civil rights issues in today’s day and age. While there have been attempts to regulate employee behavior going back more than a century, substance screenings as we know it began in the early ‘80s when 14 sailors were killed aboard the Carrier USS Nimitz as a result of fire related explosions on the flight deck. Autopsies later revealed that nearly half of the dead soldiers were high at the time of the accident.
Immediately after this, the US armed forces started testing personnel with dangerous jobs for drug use. The idea quickly spread to the private sectors, and today, more than 80% of new hires are subjected to some form of urinalysis. This has created problems for many people who enjoy imbibing on their own time during weekends. It's harmless but it has nevertheless put their careers in jeopardy.
To get around ever-more intrusive urinalyses, people today often rely on synthetic urine. But these products come with a catch: how do you get it into the room where you’ll be providing your sample and what if someone is in the room monitoring you to make sure there’s no funny business? Obviously artificial pee by itself is not always enough, so in response to this, a number of enterprising companies have come up the things like The Urinator.
The Urinator is basically a delivery system for liquid. It kind of works just like a strap-on (and you do in fact strap it on in a sense) with the difference being that it is used to deliver your artificial pee without anyone noticing anything suspicious. You just need to mix the solution and then fill the pouch. You then put The Urinator on under your pants along with the pouch and make sure everything is as discrete as you can make it, then head off to wherever your urine test is.
Even if you have a chaperone when providing your sample, all they’ll see (if they decide to look when you whip it out, which they’re not really supposed to do) is the tip of The Urinator. You can then call them out on their voyeuristic tendencies which should cause them to avert their eyes, and you can finish delivering your thoroughly clean sample in peace. When you're done, just zip up and go back to work.
As you can tell from the above description, there is more than one component to The Urinator and getting your fake-pee-via-fake-penis routine down so that it seems natural might take some practice. Just use water instead of the samples that come with The Urinator until you feel comfortable with the process. No matter what delivery system you use (and there are quite a few available) the whole thing will need to seem perfectly natural or you’ll raise red flags. That said The Urinator kit is composed of:
For our money, too much. At $149.99, The Urinator is about five times as much as your standard product. While much of that expense can be explained by the cost of producing the whole device, along with the rest of the delivery mechanism, it’s still too much for a product with a less than an ideal record.
There are far better options, and by comparison, some of them are even way more effective and can be relied on when the going gets tough. We've tested a bunch of these products so let's now see how The Urinator stacks up against the rest of its competition.
You’ll find The Urinator reviews that sing its praises to the high heaven. This isn’t one of those reviews. That’s because we found the device cumbersome and more than a little hard to conceal. On top of that, we found it difficult to control the flow of the liquid which can’t be a good thing if you’re trying to look natural while someone is standing next to you.
The icing on the cake is that the solution itself has a less than stellar reputation and there are others that will provide a more dependably higher pass rate. You can go here to find the artificial pee brands that we've reviewed.
If we had to use this type of delivery system, we would opt for the Monkey Dong (for men) or Monkey Whizz (for women) instead. They are cheaper than The Urinator, work a lot better, and easier to use to top it all off.
If you still feel this is your type of liquid delivery system, you can find The Urinator for sale from a pretty wide variety of websites. Some of them seem legit while others seem like they’re operated by that guy down the street who comes out of his basement apartment around 10:30 every night to walk to 7-Eleven and pick up tissues and Twinkies. The consensus here is that the Monkey Dong and the Monkey Whizz are the superior products and they can be purchased directly from an approved reseller by clicking the links that we've just provided.
We should state that it’s obvious that the people who put together The Urinator put a lot of thought and effort into it. It’s not that it’s a bad product as there’s no doubt it has helped some people save their jobs. The thing with The Urinator is that it seems to us that it needs more refinement before it can be called a truly reliable, easy to use mechanism for passing those dastardly mandatory exams.
Until they do refine it, the Monkey Dong or Monkey Whizz line of fake pee delivery devices from Serious Monkey Business is the one we’d drop our money on. You can get the real deal by clicking the buttons below to go straight to an approved reseller.