Let’s get something out of the way right up front: Drug testing in America is out of control.
When people in need of medical marijuana can lose their jobs for protecting their health, it's out of control.
When police who walk the streets in combat gear are not tested, but people who make your French fries are, it’s out of control.
Every year, tens of thousands of hardworking, reliable, honest employees lose their jobs because they fail a drug test.
It’s crazy. You need protection from the madness.
That’s why you’re here. To find out if Monkey Flask can help provide that protection.
So, let’s take a look.
The Monkey Flask is brought to you by the people at Serious Monkey Business.
SMB is a company that’s been around for years and is well known for things like their basically reliable Monkey Whizz fake pee kit.
In fact, their entire line is focused on helping people protect themselves from the scourge of unwarranted drug tests. And for the most part, they do a pretty good job.
Unlike the company’s belt system, the Monkey Flask is a synthetic urine kit that takes an Old School approach to sample submission by simply providing you a plastic flask of premixed fake piss and instructions on how to deliver it.
In order to get around charges that it might be somehow used for illegal purposes, it says right on the box that it's a fetish product.
The 3.5 ounces of fake pee in the flask is the same piss used in the belt kit.
Both our testing and a wealth of user reviews indicate that this product has a good reputation for delivering when it counts.
That is, if you can keep it warm and deliver your sample from the Monkey Flask without being caught.
Because the FDA does not require fetish products like synthetic urine to list their ingredients, it's impossible to state with any authority exactly what is in Monkey Flask.
But, while we can't be sure of exactly what's in it, we do get a picture (supplied by the company) of its characteristics.
It’s said to include uric acid and to be properly balanced for pH. It’s also said to exhibit the same specific gravity you’d expect from real pee.
And that’s all good. Especially the uric acid component.
The flask itself sports a very slender design which facilitates concealment and is microwave friendly.
Our testing indicated that it’s relatively easy to slip it unnoticed into form-fitting underwear and still move about in a fairly natural way.
There's also an integrated temperature strip that’s only moderately effective if you need to check the temperature of your sample. And then there’s the cap for the flask, which we’ll get to in a moment.
Our own testing of the product looked at things like color, how it smells, does it contain uric acid and whether or not the temperature strip and heating pads work.
To get an idea of whether it actually delivers a clean sample in the heat of the testing environment, we had to rely on user reviews.
While some raved about the product, a good many more complained about the temperature strip and the need to microwave.
However, the single biggest factor people cited when saying Monkey Flask caused them to fail their test was the noise made by the snap-on cap on the flask itself.
While the popular and generally reliable belt kit features a belt and tube system that’s quiet and discreet, the Monkey Flask has a cap that makes a very noticeable “click” when you open or close it.
We noticed this click during sample testing, and so we weren’t surprised to read that people had taken heat during actual drug tests for it.
It’s hard to imagine what the company was thinking when they passed this to the market.
Didn’t anyone at SMB speak up about it?
Discretion is everything when it comes to these products, and this is the very definition of indiscrete.
So, no. It doesn't work particularly well.
With some fake pee products running a hundred bucks or more, the Monkey Flask price of $30 can seem by comparison to be pretty reasonable.
But is it?
Is any price a good price if the product you’re paying for doesn’t work very well?
We suppose that if you just wanted to use the fake pee for other purposes or with other delivery methods, then you might not be totally wasting your money.
But, if you just want a refill for your prosthetic penis fake pee dispenser, there must be cheaper ways to get it then purchasing the whole Monkey Flask kit.
If you're someone who likes to live dangerously, then you can pick up the Monkey Flask fake urine kit at the SMB website: www.seriousmonkeybusiness.com.
But why waste the money?
What we’d suggest you do is go to the site, pass over the Monkey Flask and go right for the Monkey Whizz kit instead.
It’s only a few dollars more and has a good track record of producing useable samples.
And, that’s what it’s all about -- passing a drug test and not taking unnecessary chances with your career.
Do we recommend Monkey Flask?
No. At least not until they begin using a more discrete flask design.
One whose cap doesn’t say “Hey! Over here!” every time you open or close it.
It’s a significant oversight on the part of SMB and sours what is otherwise a clean company record.
But, we’re not down on the company entirely.
In fact, our recommendation would be to simply use the Serious Monkey Business Monkey Whizz kit instead.
It’s easy to use (with a little practice), easy to conceal and it only costs a bit more.
QF IS OUR #1 CHOICE
When it comes to urine products, QF is easily our #1 choice.
This product has a 99.987% success rate meaning that it gives you the best chance of passing your drug test out of all the options that are on the market today.
Overnight shipping available!
On sale until the end of the month.
Anna is a content writer, blogger, and entrepreneur. When she is not spending time managing and supervising her business, Lindsley's Lumber, Anna creates content for her synthetic urine website. Aside from being an entrepreneur and blogger, she is also a pet lover, loves to cook and maintain her home garden. You can find out more about me here.