Drug tests can only go two ways – you either pass, or you don’t. Perhaps you were randomly selected for a surprise testing, or you’ve landed that job you’ve so desperately wanted. Being chosen for a random test when you know you’re not prepared is a stressful event. It means losing your job, or if you are an applicant, it will prevent you from obtaining that job you’ve been longing to have.
If you find yourself in this position, don’t fret. You have a few options to pass your drug test when the odds are not in your favor! The first thing that you want to keep in mind is that you’re limited on time. On average, most tests will need to be completed within 48 hours, and believe us, your employer will not be willing to give you an extension.
Unfortunately, due to the short period you have, it does not give you enough time to detox your body of the substances within it. Before going into a full panic mode, consider reading the following. We’ve composed this guide to give you the necessary information to have the best chance of passing a urinalysis test.
In these situations, flushing your body out naturally isn’t an option, leaving you with only one reliable option: fake or synthetic urine (see more).
A lot of people are floored to learn there’s such a thing as fake pee and that it’s readily available on the Internet. “Who would ever bother to invent such a thing?” They ask. The answer is the companies that manufacture the same drug testing machines you need to get past to get or keep your job. You see, when they were engineering their drug testing machines they realized they needed a reliable, inexhaustible source of urine to test those machines with. They couldn’t ask their technicians to pee into cups all day so instead they contracted laboratories to devise synthetic urine for them. The rest, as they say, is history. This fake pee is chemically identical to human pee and will get you that coveted ‘negative’ result more than 99% of the time when used as directed. So the means for passing your test are here. Now all you need is a way to get that sample into the testing facility.
And, of course, human ingenuity being what it is there are several pretty dependable ways to do that.
We know that breaking the rules is a scary situation, and if you can find a way to avoid doing so, we recommend those alternatives. The old-fashioned way is risky, but many have found success in it. Not every drug administration checks your pockets before conducting a drug test. That’s why some people choose to hide synthetic pee in their pockets or more commonly, ask a close friend to provide some of their own natural urine that is clean. Sadly, this doesn't work as well as you would think.
Remember that when sneaking in a friend’s pee, you do run the risk of being searched. If you are found to be sneaking in a sample, you’ll most likely be fired or won’t receive the job you want. If this sneaky option makes you nervous, others may notice it too and feel required to search you. If this happens to be the case, perhaps it’s important to seek another option of sneaking or hiding your stuff into the drug testing facility. But don't wory and keep reading on.
Keep in mind that whichever solution you decide to use, the urine you bring in will need to be warm. It needs to be a specific temperature to pass. When carrying in someone else’s urine, some people opt to microwave it before attending their appointment. This is of course not ideal, but it does ensure the pee warm to begin with. You just need something to keep it warm for the rest of the duration. Using a hand warmer is also an option that has worked for many. Whatever method you decide to use, simply remember that nothing screams out “it’s not your pee” more than cold urine!
This brings us to the most reliable solution when it comes to hiding your synthetic pee to a drug test.
This option is a bit costlier than the previous ones, but they also bring the most desired results. Seeking the help of Monkey Dong or Monkey Whizz – two services that provide effective results when looking for a solution – increase your chances of passing this dreaded test with flying colors. Yes, it will require you to invest more money than the previous solutions, but if you are doing a self-administered test at home, you’ll notice that you can pass the drug screening.
The Monkey Dong Synthetic Urine Kit provides men with a reliable solution when surprise drug screenings are scheduled. This service provides users with a fake peeing device that produces fake urine just in time for their appointment. It even acts and looks like the real thing, ensuring a user can pass an at-home drug test. This innovative product comes in a variety of colors to match the skin of the user.
It offers different colors to match the skin in the case that you have someone watching over your shoulder. The creators of this product made it so that it matches any skin color so that no one will ever suspect a thing. Purchasing a synthetic urine kit from Monkey Dong is a great way to ace that test and get the job you want.
Monkey Whizz meanwhile, is made for women that are looking hide their synthetic pee. Much like Monkey Dong, it comes with heating pads/solutions, and a very discreet way of keeping your artificial pee in your pants without it leaking or being too obvious.
Upon receiving your package, you’ll realize that the instructions are very straightforward and easy to follow.